Omnipotent humour … you gotta love it!! After mocking dearly beloved, who is still hoarding tissues, for his ailments, guess who is huddled beneath blankets in a shivering mass today??
I hate mornings!! Mornings are for wimps who have no stamina to stay up late. If anyone Good Morning!’s me with a hyper caffeinated bouncy smile, they’d better have some painkillers really handy because trust me, they’re gonna need ‘em. And if anyone throws out that tired old cliché about the early bird and the worm, my immediate response is , “yes, but what about the poor little worm. He gets up bright and early, slithering away minding his own business and gets eaten by fat pigeon who woke up later.” Sort of sums up society as a whole … that’s too deep a thought for today … my head hurts.
So when I tell you all that the shrill shriek of my alarm clock at the crack of yawn and my daily duel with the snooze button was the highlight of my day … you see where I’m going with this?
I’ve obviously been spending way too much time scrolling because first thing I notice is extreme ouchiness in left hand … yep, good old Carpal Tunnel flaring up again. I stumble bleary-eyed towards bathroom and suddenly I feel all woozy and light-headed, I almost fall off the toilet. Yes, yes, you may laugh … not funny when you’re trying to hold it together mid stream.
Now, I’m sitting in my bed and am beleaguered by the stupid sheet. I am not a messy sleeper; I usually wake up with my head on the pillow, not under it or even in it and the duvet is fully on the bed, so why does the corner of the sheet get messed up? This happens every day without fail and it’s always the same corner; the one farthest away from me, flush to the corner of the wall. I bet it’s all those dust bunnies under my bed having a grand old time whilst I’m asleep. I bet they’re also the ones who throw my clothes on the floor and move my alarm clock forward.
Last night, after once again wrestling with non-compliant sheet, I’m finally tucked up in bed and I realise that I hadn’t taken my hormone medication. Ah, this is no ordinary pop-and-go pill, this medication goes up rather than down, and I’m seriously questioning whether a trip to my freezing cold bathroom is worth it. My biological clock, which is louder than my alarm clock, wins the argument and I duly install progesterone pessary, or as I call it “steroids for my uterus.” I’m now blaming all my ailments on hormones. Perks of the job!!
Whilst searching for pictures for this post, I hoped to find a funny image or GIF of a hulk-like uterus … and this is what I found.
Just one question! Why would anyone knit this?? Perhaps this is how rag dolls are born. Or quite possibly, Ana Steele.
Oh well, my point to all these ramblings … not sure. Oh yes, Karma’s a Bitch!!